it. Then you will see the beauty, and the ugliness will remain behind, never to be seen directly. Everyone else will see it - that is the problem. The son will see that the father is not angry for his good. He will see that the father is angry because he has been disobeyed and he feels hurt; the son will know it.
You cannot hide your ugliness from others. You can hide it only from yourself. Your look will reveal to everyone that there is violence.You can only deceive yourself that there was compassion.
That is why everyone thinks of himself as a very superior being, and no one else agrees with him.
Your wife doesn't agree with you that you are a superior being. Your children are not in agreement with you that you are a superior being. Your friends do not agree, no one agrees with you, that you are a superior being.
They have a popular saying in Russia that if everyone says their mind totally, exactly as it is, there will not be four friends in the whole world. Impossible! Whatsoever your friend thinks about you, he never says to you. That is why friendship continues. But he is always saying things behind you, and you are saying what you think about your friend behind him. No one says honestly what he thinks because then there will be no possibility of any friendship. Why? No one agrees with you, and the reason is only this: you can only deceive yourself; you cannot deceive anyone else. Only self-deception is possible.
And when you think you are deceiving others you are simply deceiving yourself. It may be that others pretend to you that they have been deceived by you, because there are moments when it is convenient to play the role of being deceived. It may be beneficial for the person. You talk to someone about your greatness... Everyone is talking directly or indirectly about his greatness, his superiority. Someone may agree with you. If it is beneficial to him he will pretend to you that he is being deceived by you, but he knows inside who you are.
You cannot deceive anyone unless someone is ready to be deceived; that is another thing. By authenticity I mean: remember your facticity. Always sort it out from your interpretations. Throw away your interpretations and look at the fact of what you are. And do not be afraid - much ugliness is there. If you are afraid, then you will never be able to change it. If it is there, accept that it is there; consider it.
This is what consideration means: consider it, look at it in its total nakedness. Move around it, go to its roots, analyze it. See why it is there, how you help it to be there, how you feed it, how you protect it, how it has grown to be such a big tree. See your ugliness, your violence, your hatred, your anger, how you have protected it, how you have helped it to grow up to now. Look at the roots; look at the whole phenomenon.
And Shiva says That if you consider it totally you can drop it immediately, this very moment, because it is you who have been protecting it. It is you who have been helping it to become rooted in you. It is your creation. You can drop it immediately - just now. You can leave it, and then there is no need to look again toward it. But before you can do this, you will have to know it - what it is, the whole mechanism, the whole complexity of it, how you help it every moment.
If someone says something insulting to you, how do you react? Have you ever thought about it - that he may be right? Then look! He may be right. There is every possibility of him being more right than you are about yourself, because he is aloof, far away; he can observe.
So do not react. Wait! Tell him, "I will consider what you have said. You have insulted me, and I will consider the fact. You may be right. If you are right, then I will give you my thanks. Let me consider it. And if I find that you are wrong I will inform you." But do not react. Reaction is different.
If you insult me, I say to you, instead of reacting, "Wait. Come back after seven days. I will consider whatsoever you have said - you may be right. I will put myself in your place and will observe myself; I will create a distance. You may be right, so let me look at the fact. It is very kind of you to have pointed it out, so I will look at it. If I feel that you are right, I will thank you; if I feel that you are wrong, I will inform you that you are wrong." But what is the need of reaction?
You insult me - then what do I do? I insult you immediately then and there. I escape consideration:
I have reacted. You insulted me, so I have insulted you.
And remember, reaction can never be right. It can NEVER be right! If you insult me, you create the possibility of my being angry. And when I am angry I am not conscious, I will say something which I have never thought about you. This very moment, because of your insults I react in a violent way. A moment later I may repent.
Do not react - consider the facts. And if your consideration is total, you can drop anything. It is in your hands. Because you are clinging to it, it is there. But you can drop it immediately, and there will be no suppression - remember. When you have considered a fact, there will never be any suppression. Either you like it and you continue it, or you do not like it and you drop it.
The second question:
Question 2:
ACCORDING TO LAST NIGHT'S TECHNIQUE,
WHEN ANGER, VIOLENCE, SEX, ETC., ARISES,
ONE SHOULD CONSIDER IT AND THEN SUDDENLY QUIT IT.
BUT WHEN ONE DOES IT, ONE SOMETIMES FEELS SICK AND UNEASY.
WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THESE NEGATIVE FEELINGS?
Only one reason: your consideration is not total. Everyone wants to quit anger without understanding it; everyone wants to quit sex without understanding it. And there is no revolution without understanding. You will create more problems and you will create more misery for yourself. Do not think of renouncing anything, just think of how to understand it: understanding, not renunciation.
There is no need of thinking to quit anything. The only need is to understand it in its totality. If you have understood it in its totality, the transformation will follow. If it is good for you, if it is good for your being, it will grow. If it is bad for you, it will drop. So the real thing is not quitting, it is understanding.
average mind. This attitude is because of a particular hypothesis that mind is the end and there is no beyond.
Just opposite to this attitude is the Eastern approach. We say here that mind itself is the disease. So whether normal or abnormal, we will make only the distinction of "normally ill" and "abnormally ill." A normal men is normally ill. He is not so much ill that you can detect it, he is just average. Because everyone else is like him, his illness cannot be detected. Even the person, the psychoanalyst who treats him, is himself a normally ill person. Mind itself is the disease for us.
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